The gist of (mourning for the paths lost that exploring the word "gist" would open. focus)
I succumbed. It's actually quite interesting. It made no sense until I saw it was "legalese" a bizarre dialect designed by lawyers whose purpose is to insure it will only ever be understood by other lawyers, hence perpetuating the legal profession ad infinitim.
Now what were we talking about? I also walked the dog, dithered with K over whether or not I do need to come out of my room occationally. I have a story in my head I'm afraid to put into words because it is also my escape, and if I expose it...
the horror. This is an Aspie thing. I never knew that. It so makes sense. May I have the talent and courage to use my gift to explain shit
Always reaching reaching wretching I mean, come on. I wasn't always this way.
My heart is bad I tire easily but that just sounds like an excuse.
It took being called on at a meeting for me to find my place, to be able to say a little. What have I to say? A few tests next to a lost piece of self.
I want I don't know what I want/I need a kick in the butt but I don't need to be blugeoned. Over and over and over for my whole fucking life.
Off the merry go round. now. so happy to see the light at the end of a tunnel.
Asperger natural honesty tortuous path through 12 steps if unable to do them perfectly. And being hammered with how bad how very bad I am. Pointing finger literally.
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